p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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