they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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