I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
