Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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