I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
