Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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