So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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