If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
