i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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