Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
