i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
