please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
