I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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