even my farts smell like vagina
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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