Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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