I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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