pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
