Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
