just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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