I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This house was built for laser tag.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
