ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
