that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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