Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
