Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
