It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
