lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
