why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
