On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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