just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
