i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
