bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
