Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
