Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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