R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
