It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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