ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He had one of those small greek statue penises
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
