Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
