Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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