Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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