so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
