Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize