better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize