I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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