That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
