But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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