I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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