you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize