There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
