great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
