If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
