Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
