Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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