Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I skipped work to stalk him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
