i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I understand Curling. That high.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
