The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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