so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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