I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
