I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ladies don't puke and tell
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
