it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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