he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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