it's too hot outside to masturbate.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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