I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
