Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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