That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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