i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Pooping to opera.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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