Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
