just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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