What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
