I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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