I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
