My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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