Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
cat food counts as protein by the way
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
