if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
the raccoons are back...
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