remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
