if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
