Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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