dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize